The Positive And Negative Effects Of Staying Together For The Kids

parents quarreling infront of their child

In this hectic and fast paced life our partner is the one with whom we truly share our accomplishments, our failures and all our important moments. They become the center of our universe, but, things do not stay peachy always! There are rough times in every relationship and whereas some do survive the obstacles there are enough of those who do not. Divorce is never a pleasant ordeal, and the whole deal gets even more messed up when kids are involved.

The Dilemma: Should Your Stay Together or Part Ways?

There are always two options when the going gets tough, either the partners decide to call quits or staying together. When the children are involved the options remain the same, but the reasons behind each may get even more complicated. Many parents decide to separate because they do not want to subject their children to the scenario of their marriage falling apart. Moreover, there are also parents who think otherwise and try to mend their relationship as best as they can, so that they can give their children a healthy family environment while they are growing up. If anyone finds themselves in such a predicament where he or she is faced with these two choices one really need to put much thought in the decision, they make.

Pay Attention: You Are Under Watchful Eyes

Young people are like clay, they are very easily molded by the environment that surrounds them. They take very quickly to what they witness, now who is around them most of the time when they are growing up? They are the parents. Moreover, since they adore and idolize their parents, children start to take after their display of behavior and manners.

An adult’s behavior especially that of the parent’s is something that forms the foundation of what the child will turn out to be when he grows up. When two people are in a marriage where quarrels are frequent and display abusive language or violent behavior, they snatch away their children’s chance to witness what a happy marriage looks like and lead them to believe that this is what happens when two people are married. This act can have dire consequences in the long run when they display the same behavior in their personal lives when they grow up.

Lose-Lose Situation

Sometimes parents decide to stay in a relationship that has lost its lifelong time ago, just for the sake of giving the children a feel of having a united family. However, they forget that children are very sensitive and can catch on to the little hint therefore pseudo-harmony is not what can fool them. This act may in fact, do more emotional damage than repair things. When two parents are fighting, the direct effect of it can be traced to the children who feel neglected and develop a depressions and other psychological problems, some of them even take to believing that the problems their parents are having is because of them.

Benefits of Family Counseling

When it comes to parents who are willing to make and effort and undergo counseling, the future of the children seems to look more promising emotionally. When they witness their own parents making amends for their mistakes and trying to resolve whatever issues, they have they learn that no matter what one can always learn to repair and revive their relationship. According to a survey, those children who have a healthy family environment grow up to be less susceptible to drug abuse, alcoholism, divorce and other stuff that arises from a lack of emotional fulfillment in childhood.

It is not about just having a parent; it is about having both of them because each of them is unique and has their set of things to teach to the ones growing up. A mother can teach a lot of stuff to her children, but something are better only when taught by the father and vice versa.

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About the Author: Emma

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